It was another Valentine day, and Sandra stood at the city mall, staring at a couple who came shopping. She wished she could be in the lady’s shoe but this will be very unlikely, and the thought left her sad, immediately.
She had met Clarke some months ago, and had thought that their relationship would have matured into romance. However, six months down the line, they had only become better friends and Clarke was yet to make any move about moving the relationship to the next level.
“I’m tired”, “I can’t wait any longer” she murmured to herself. This has been Sandra’s continuous trauma two months after she met Clarke. She wanted more and she was dying to have it.
Sandra is not the only one with such trouble; her situation is common with most ladies. Whenever they meet a nice guy whose manifesto befits their requirement (I.e. they are attracted to the person), first thing that comes to mind is romance and commitment.
Have you ever considered having a beautiful relationship with an opposite sex without expecting things to turn romantic or physical right away?
Is it compulsory to date every guy that comes your way as long as they are tall, dark, handsome, rich, or eloquent? Is dating the only way to know a guy intimately and enjoy good companionship?
The answers to these questions are up to you.
Meanwhile, there is nothing wrong with being friends for a long time without any motive of dating.
As impossible as this might sound to the hearing of some ladies, it could be the best solution or answer to all the failed relationships they have experienced in their life time.
You shouldn’t go out with any “good or great guy”, there is more to benefit from every relationship which might not be achieved when romance sets in.
Genuine Friendships helps you to make strong and wise decisions while considering taking the relationship to the next level.
Dr. Grace Cornish, a New York social psychologist, advises that romances that begin as friendships are more likely to succeed.
This could be true because after months or years of nurturing a genuine friendship you can solely take a stand on whether you wish to begin a romance relationship with such person or not without being scared about the result of your decision.
Many psychologists are of the opinion that marrying your friend or best friend is a guarantee to a lasting marriage because as friends, there is no pretense and everyone is open to each other. There is really no need to pretend to someone you are not attracted to, after all what would it cost you if your best friend finds out that you snore while sleeping.
In friendship, respect is cultivated, and both parties are kind to each other. Friends are always very keen on looking out for the best interests of their friends. Friendship-first creates space for mutual support and growth.
If these qualities are transferred into any marriage, you can trust that marriage to last for a lifetime.
You might want to ask “what if the friendship doesn’t lead to romance?”
It’s doesn’t always have to. Sad truth?
Situations where friendship-first do not lead to romance could be as a result of one person not finding the other attractive as a romantic partner but cool as a friend. If that is the situation, there is really no need to worry because two people can be very cool as friends but may have so many troubles keeping a love affair. You should be more interested in what you stand to gain or become as a party to the relationship in terms of knowledge and growth.
You should also be interested in what you have to give or offer, remember friendship is not supposed to be a burden. It should not even amount to worries or headaches. Therefore knowing what you want and what you can handle is very vital.
In conclusion, it is always okay to be friends-first, all it takes is to be open-minded and real.
Friendship-first centers around making an impact on the lives of those amazing people we meet, with the impression of getting to know them better as we look forward to learning their stories and their preferences, while we lay aside our sexual or romantic expectations.
Miracle Nwankwo
